Do you ever have a week where you can’t really remember all that happened but you know that surely something did because you really were there, doing things and working through it all? Promise..?

Yeah, that’s about what my last week has been like. But honestly. Let’s see if I can remember what happened.

We went on a date to the movies where we ate popcorn (which alone is an exposure because I don’t really like eating food that necessitates my mouth touching my actual fingers). I used a port-a-potty at a park later on that night, so that’s a pretty big deal—and I didn’t even use the hand sanitizer in the “stall” because of my pledge to not use hand sanitizer. *Let’s be clear, there was a hand washing station with soap outside of the stall*

I got my hair dyed. So that’s different. And I’m not supposed to wash my hair every day—only 2-3 times a week. This is hard for me because I had decided that it’s important to wash one’s hair everyday because sleeping on a “dirty” bed and pillows makes your hair dirty by default. But I went three days without washing my hair! And I survived and didn’t get myself or anyone else sick, haha!

I taught my Primary class on Sunday and only freaked out a little bit when one girl kept producing gum somehow and would take it out of her mouth and play with it in her fingers and then put it back in her mouth. (I’m thinking my OCD is shifting from fecal contamination worries to saliva contamination worries now. I’m sensing some exposures involving licking things coming in my future…)

Around the house I have done laundry, chores, cleaned the car, etc. Mostly I’ve been trying to be normal in those things and I think I’ve done fairly well. Sometimes I double pump the soap accidentally (and sometimes not accidentally). So I should work on that.

Basically, I know the little things I “cheat” on or slip up on and can play out in my mind what the doctor would say or what exposures he would assign…I should probably just preemptively get out there and attack but usually I wait until it’s an official doctor’s order. Hmm. I should probably be more proactive.

Do you ever put off doing what you know you should do because of fear? Do you think fear is a governing force of OCD?

One thought on “Everyday Thursday”

  1. Double pump the hand soap?! :-O Wow. I don’t know who you evdn are anymore. Or me for that matter. I hardly remember what I did yesterday let alone last week. And putting off what I know I should do out of fear? Well, I’m afraid to say that I’ll have to get back to you on that one. :-p. I love this blog of yours and I love you too sis! Keep up the good fight.

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