Hello everyone. I feel like the last few days have been go-go-go, which is nice because they pass by quickly but also hard because they pass by quickly. I’ve been feeling like there is more that I should be fitting into each day, even though I’m basically moving from one thing to another all day long. I’m not a big relaxer.
Last week our youngest started up preschool again. We switched preschools, and she now goes three days a week instead of two. However, she has kicked into separation anxiety mode and gets really sad and emotional when I drop her off at school. It’s brutal, but I’m hoping it passes soon. I wonder if some parents hang out, relax, etc. when all their kids are at school. I tend to go into superpower mode, running around trying to get everything done that I possibly can, sometimes stopping for a snack or to go on a mini date with my husband (since he works from home). Maybe it’s that I’m fueled by projects, but I guess it’s good. It gives my mind something to do rather than worry about obsessions.
That being said, I’m not doing awesome with hand washing lately. Even just a few minutes ago I had a bit of a spurt of hand washes when I shouldn’t have. I should probably start writing down how many times I wash my hands… AGAIN. And note if I “double pump” the soap. Am I the only one who does that?!
I’ve also been consciously trying to “sit everywhere,” even if I consider that place to be dirty or less than ideal. This includes kitchen stools that the kids sometimes get yogurt or other food on, benches outside, etc. It might sound strange, but I have subconsciously trained myself to check potential sitting places for obvious stains or other yuckiness and then either not sit down or find a different place to do so. I need to break out of this habit.
Also, I’ve taken off some exercise this week. I have been having back and neck problems, so I’m taking it easy. Exercising has often been a sort of compulsion for me. I used to “have” to exercise everyday for at least 50 minutes a day. I think I’ve mentioned this before. Since my surgery a year and a half or so ago, I’ve eased off that (to my weight’s demise….). Exercise is definitely important, but it shouldn’t become an obsession or compulsion.
Whole vs. parts
But speaking of back and neck problems, I just started going to our friend who is a chiropractor. It’s kind of great. Basically I have a really screwed up/misaligned body—weight is distributed unevenly, one shoulder is higher than the other, one leg is longer, bones aren’t where they ought to be…. But hearing the philosophy and reasoning behind the science of chiropractic work reminded me of the whole eastern vs. western medicine thing: treating the body as a whole, cohesive unit vs. fixing one part without really caring about what it connects to or affects.
I think our mental health care is similar. Having OCD, depression, or anxiety can affect other parts of your mental (and physical) health. When my OCD was really severe and I started talking medicine again, I became incredibly depressed and thought it would be better not to exist anymore. It felt like that would be easier. So OCD can reach over into depression. Obviously, anxiety and OCD are pretty connected, and we could go on and on, right? So I guess it’s important to keep an open mind and try to treat your whole mind and body as much as you can, versus just one part. I really do believe that our minds and bodies are interconnected to the extent that what’s going on with one part or piece affects another.
So here I am, trying to fix a bunch of pieces at once… which is maybe not the best way to avoid stress, but oh well!